Man: "An adult male person"..."A man thought of as having all the best characteristics distinctive of manhood".
While pondering the above definition I found in the dictionary, I realized, with great disappointment, that I don't know a single "man". Not by webster's standards anyways. Boys, yes..but no men. Is it me? Do I have bad karma or something? Or could it be, that there isn't one true "man" on Earth, but only "boys" tryin to pretend they're men..at any rate, I am without. Are you the one to lift me from my bed of cynicism? (NO, that was not a sexual comment!) Let's find out shall we??? Have fun!
BOYFRIEND APPLICATION:
PART A: About you!
1. What's your name? (Harry Heiney & Seymour Buttz - not accepted)
2. Age? (Tell the truth, or you'll burn in hell)
3. Occupation? (Surfer dude or Love machine won't score any points with me gentlemen)
4. Location? (If you say Outside my bedroom window, I'm sending out the dogs -- Big, killer dogs)
5. Marital Status (Umm, I will find out eventually)
PART B: What if?
6. If I asked you to brush my hair, would you do it -- and I can't stress this enough -- ~WITHOUT~ whining or bitching about "having" to do it?
7. If I was sick, how would you make me feel better? Be creative, but don't make me puke! I'm sick remember!
8. Can/would you sing a sappy love song to me infront of a room full of people -- sober?
9. How would you try to win over my family when meeting them for the first time -- without bribing them with money and/or candy?
10. Do you consider little children or babies to be "horrible little creatures"?
PART C: Down to the nitty gritty!
11. Did you lie when you answered #10? If so, you failed! Be Gone
12. How many teeth do you have?
13. What's your astrological sign?
14. What's your favourite number and colour?
15. Do you often get drunk and take off your clothes infront of a room full of strangers?
PART D: The end is near!
16. Are you a psychotic axe-murdering bastard?
17. Are you prone to staring at fire and wondering what you could burn, while quietly whispering "fire, fire" to yourself?
18. Do you hate cats?
19. Do/have you had attacks of road rage? Frequently?
20. What does 1+1=?
If you wish to submit your answers, click the lil buggers fightin over the envelope, copy and paste the application, along with your answers. I'll be sure to look it over very carefully :o)
